Why I am NOT a Farmer

To City,

The other day I was thinking about the harvest season and how many hours upon hours are spent on the fields. Let’s break it down: First, a farmer will work up the fields, they will seed, and then the seeds will grow. A few months later it’s time to cut the crop down, rake it, combine the grain, pick up the leftovers (which is straw) to make bales,  move the bales off the field, put fertilizer (manure) on the field, and then work it up again. That all boils down to a ridiculous time spent in tractors. I can’t understand how farmers do NOT go crazy being alone for that amount of time.

David Wright
Photo Credit: David Wright

I am only special enough to help out with a couple of these jobs because farmers are fairly particular with who drives their tractors. I usually get to cut hay, which sometimes can be fun. But for me, being alone in a tractor for all that time is actually more like being alone with my own worst enemy.

Here are my thoughts when working on the fields.

  1. Crap I don’t remember how to drive a tractor.
  2. OK, wait I do remember. Phew!
  3. Oh yeah, look at me. I’m a big deal driving this big tractor.
  4. (Listens to iPod) Have all these songs always been this amazing?
  5. Oh. My. God. There is so much of the field left. I’m never going to finish!
  6. I got this. It’s no big deal. Just keep driving.
  7. I’m hungry. Reaches for food, swerves tractor by accident, making a curve in the otherwise straight row.
  8. Umm I’ll try to  fix that on the way back.
  9. Is that a fox or a coyote? I can never tell them apart.
  10. I wonder what a fox really does say.
  11. I think I have to pee, but I’ll finish this row first.
  12. Now I’m too close to the road. I’ll wait till I finish the next row to pee.
  13. My bladder is going to burst! Finally, finishes the row and then sweet relief.
  14. Wow, working on a farm is awesome. Should I quit my job and become a farmer?
  15. Should I travel?
  16. What if I went to Australia before I went to university, would my life be different now?
  17. Wow, have all these songs on my iPod always been this awful?
  18. Oh yeah, almost done the field. I think… I hope…
  19. I’m hungry and I have to pee. UGH!
  20. And repeat all the thoughts from earlier.

These thoughts, for the most part, sum up why I can’t be alone for long periods of time. I just get too crazy, and then blog about it, which forces me to admit my craziness to all my blog fans… So 5 people, who probably already know exactly what I’m like. And there you go folks, these are the reasons why I cannot be a farmer when I grow up.

Kudos to those that can spend those hours on the fields, handle all that alone time and, at the end of the day, stay somewhat sane!

Love, Country

Photo Credit: http://www.hellenbrndimplement.com

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